Mums call. Dads, too, but less often. Mums call all the time. And if you're not in, they'll leave a message. Or even several.
...
Mathilde Guermonprez has edited together messages left by mothers on answering machines in a sharp, funny and moving montage. The moral of the story? Call your mother back now!
Radio documentary (2015 - 3'54")
Writer-director: Mathilde Guermonprez
Recordings: January-March 2015
Sound recording and mix: Arnaud Forest
Produced by ARTE Radio (France)
Aired: April 9, 2016
www.arteradio.com
Transcript : Maxime Hardy - English translation : Simon John :
Bip
-Answering machine: Hello, you have 1 new message.
-Mum : Hi, Julien, it's mum.
-Mum : Mum here.
-Mum : This is mum.
-Mum : Hi, beautiful, it's mum.
-Mum: Hello, froggy.
-Mum: Hello, froggy.
-Mum: Mum and dad calling.
-Mum: Hi, sonny.
-Mum: Mum speaking. There you go.
Bip
-Answering machine: Received Friday 13th at 7:08 p.m.
-Mum: The good news is, I got my microwave, It was absolutely nuts.
-Mum: This morning, looking through the Lidl ads there's a leather one for 15.99 euros.
-Mum: At Darty, they said it shipped on the 6th.
-Mum: I started sending off my orders, I found lots of things for your bedroom. I found a bed for you, curtains... Lamps, armchairs and even quilt covers.
Bip
-Answering machine: For news, sport or weather, press 5.
-Mum: Yoo-hoo, Juju! Hello from the big waves of Kersidan, where we had a wonderful day...
-Mum: Mum here. I just wanted to say we're fine despite the heat. But overall we're fine.
-Mum: It's pouring with rain.
-Mum: The sun's out but it's not very warm, so pack a sweater or a cardigan.
Bip
-Answering machine: To play the message again, press 1.
-Dad : I put bleach in the courtyard, from the gate onto the street to the garage door…
-Mum : Actually, we need to know how many wires, and of what colour, connect up from your stove.
-Dad : Ideally, you wouldn't come by the house because your feet would be soaked in bleach. There you go!
-Mum: Mum will be home by 4.
-Dad : Mum will be home from 4 onwards.
Bip
-Answering machine: For assistance, press 0.
-Mum: Hi, sweetie, I'm afraid to say Joachim was bitten by a mosquito so... He's got spots, you know.
-Mum: The journey was pretty epic. As soon as we'd left, he was sick.
-Mum: I disinfected it with you-know-what, but it needs care and attention, of course.
-Mum: When we turned off the motorway, heading for Châles, he was a bit sick again.
-Mum: I'm looking at a wooden boat, Blackbeard. I was thinking I'd get it for Joachim. Maybe he'd like it.
-Mum: Shower now and into pyjamas. You smell of sick, don't you?
Bip
-Answering machine: To send a copy of the message to another voicemail, press 6.
-Mum: Just to say, on Monday, I'm lined up for one heck of a colonoscopy. It'll be no fun.
-Mum: I just wanted to tell you, I got the results of the biopsy. It's all good. Benign.
-Mum: Don't call back, I'm having a tooth out. That'll shut me up.
-Mum: I've taken an aspirin. I hope it works.
-Mum: Take care of yourself. I had my last injection today.
Bip
-Mum: I was just wondering what time you planned to arrive.
-Mum: Martine and Jean-Louis have just left. I made a leg of pork with a starter of butternut soup.
-Mum: Give me some kind of idea or dad and I will eat first.
-Mum: Martine brought a jar of foie gras. Tomorrow's the jumble sale for the homeless.
Bip
-Answering machine: To play the message again, press 1. To save it, press 2. -To delete...
Bip
-Answering machine: Message deleted.
-Mum : I hope you got my message yesterday and you'll get this one.
-Mum: I'll call back later if it's no problem for you all.
-Mum: Call me. Whenever I call, you're out.
-Mum: You don't reply to my texts, you don't reply to my messages. You don't pick up the phone.
-Mum: You know, send me a text whenever you want.
-Mum: Send me a text.
-Mum: Send me a quick text...
-Mum: That's great!
ARTE
-Mum: I send you lots of love.
RADIO
-Mum: And great big kisses. It was mum calling.
DOT
-Mum: Big kiss, kitty. All the very best. Bye, baby.
COM
-Mum: Shit! It was your folks calling!
Bip
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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...
Mathilde Guermonprez has edited together messages left by mothers on answering machines in a sharp, funny and moving montage. The moral of the story? Call your mother back now!
Radio documentary (2015 - 3'54")
Writer-director: Mathilde Guermonprez
Recordings: January-March 2015
Sound recording and mix: Arnaud Forest
Produced by ARTE Radio (France)
Aired: April 9, 2016
www.arteradio.com
Transcript : Maxime Hardy - English translation : Simon John :
Bip
-Answering machine: Hello, you have 1 new message.
-Mum : Hi, Julien, it's mum.
-Mum : Mum here.
-Mum : This is mum.
-Mum : Hi, beautiful, it's mum.
-Mum: Hello, froggy.
-Mum: Hello, froggy.
-Mum: Mum and dad calling.
-Mum: Hi, sonny.
-Mum: Mum speaking. There you go.
Bip
-Answering machine: Received Friday 13th at 7:08 p.m.
-Mum: The good news is, I got my microwave, It was absolutely nuts.
-Mum: This morning, looking through the Lidl ads there's a leather one for 15.99 euros.
-Mum: At Darty, they said it shipped on the 6th.
-Mum: I started sending off my orders, I found lots of things for your bedroom. I found a bed for you, curtains... Lamps, armchairs and even quilt covers.
Bip
-Answering machine: For news, sport or weather, press 5.
-Mum: Yoo-hoo, Juju! Hello from the big waves of Kersidan, where we had a wonderful day...
-Mum: Mum here. I just wanted to say we're fine despite the heat. But overall we're fine.
-Mum: It's pouring with rain.
-Mum: The sun's out but it's not very warm, so pack a sweater or a cardigan.
Bip
-Answering machine: To play the message again, press 1.
-Dad : I put bleach in the courtyard, from the gate onto the street to the garage door…
-Mum : Actually, we need to know how many wires, and of what colour, connect up from your stove.
-Dad : Ideally, you wouldn't come by the house because your feet would be soaked in bleach. There you go!
-Mum: Mum will be home by 4.
-Dad : Mum will be home from 4 onwards.
Bip
-Answering machine: For assistance, press 0.
-Mum: Hi, sweetie, I'm afraid to say Joachim was bitten by a mosquito so... He's got spots, you know.
-Mum: The journey was pretty epic. As soon as we'd left, he was sick.
-Mum: I disinfected it with you-know-what, but it needs care and attention, of course.
-Mum: When we turned off the motorway, heading for Châles, he was a bit sick again.
-Mum: I'm looking at a wooden boat, Blackbeard. I was thinking I'd get it for Joachim. Maybe he'd like it.
-Mum: Shower now and into pyjamas. You smell of sick, don't you?
Bip
-Answering machine: To send a copy of the message to another voicemail, press 6.
-Mum: Just to say, on Monday, I'm lined up for one heck of a colonoscopy. It'll be no fun.
-Mum: I just wanted to tell you, I got the results of the biopsy. It's all good. Benign.
-Mum: Don't call back, I'm having a tooth out. That'll shut me up.
-Mum: I've taken an aspirin. I hope it works.
-Mum: Take care of yourself. I had my last injection today.
Bip
-Mum: I was just wondering what time you planned to arrive.
-Mum: Martine and Jean-Louis have just left. I made a leg of pork with a starter of butternut soup.
-Mum: Give me some kind of idea or dad and I will eat first.
-Mum: Martine brought a jar of foie gras. Tomorrow's the jumble sale for the homeless.
Bip
-Answering machine: To play the message again, press 1. To save it, press 2. -To delete...
Bip
-Answering machine: Message deleted.
-Mum : I hope you got my message yesterday and you'll get this one.
-Mum: I'll call back later if it's no problem for you all.
-Mum: Call me. Whenever I call, you're out.
-Mum: You don't reply to my texts, you don't reply to my messages. You don't pick up the phone.
-Mum: You know, send me a text whenever you want.
-Mum: Send me a text.
-Mum: Send me a quick text...
-Mum: That's great!
ARTE
-Mum: I send you lots of love.
RADIO
-Mum: And great big kisses. It was mum calling.
DOT
-Mum: Big kiss, kitty. All the very best. Bye, baby.
COM
-Mum: Shit! It was your folks calling!
Bip
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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